The holiday season can be both a happy and a sad time for some–especially those who have lost a family member in the past year. Then, it can be quite painful. Might I offer you some comfort and let you know that your loved ones are truly with you at this time.
Having just lost someone near and dear, I know all too well what grief feels like–especially with the holiday season fast approaching. If the passing of a loved one has been recent or a holiday anniversary of a death is coming up, some will begin to experience feelings of apathy, loss of energy, and not care to socialize or be around people. Depression may set in and sometimes the person being affected doesn’t connect the dots as to why. For others, decorating, cooking, and forcing a smile to the outside world can be a monumental effort.
If you or someone you know is going through a grieving process or having a death anniversary, here are some tips to help get through the season of supposed joy:
- Make a list of what you need to do. (We all have these anyway.)
- Move slowly through tasks. There is no need to rush through anything!
- If you are feeling confused, just relax, and try again later with what you were doing.
- Don’t beat yourself up for feeling blue.
- Try not to have regrets. Your deceased loved one knows what is in your heart.
- Write them a heartfelt letter and then put it away. It’s okay to revise it from time to time.
- Take lots of walks in nature and get fresh air. Breath that air right up into your brain.
- Baby yourself and do little things which make you happy.
- Pray for your loved one but try not to dwell on the loss incessantly.
- Give yourself a half hour of grieving time every day then try to let it go.
- Put pictures of that deceased loved one away just for a little while. You can always put them up again when you feel better. Believe me, your spirit family members or former friends will understand.
- Try to get involved with a project that has meaning for you. Really submerse yourself in it.
- Helping others is a wonderful way to get out of yourself and can stave off grief for a little while.
- Sad songs only work for a while and then they become detrimental.
- Don’t play Christmas music if you don’t want to.
- Allow others to help with the load.
- Talk about your grief but keep it brief. Friends can get worn down after a while and will shut you off. Don’t be angry at them if this happens to you. They are only protecting their own energy.
Your loved one would not wish you to be morbid or deeply depressed. Depression is natural, however, so let yourself feel it then try to get busy. Again, doing little things is best. Becoming overwhelmed will only add to the pile of your fragile emotions. Let others know you are doing your best but set boundaries with well-meaning friends who tell you to get over it quickly. If you just can’t do something or don’t wish to go out, that’s fine. Again, set firm boundaries with well-meaning friends.
Grief has many stages, so cry, beat pillows and allow yourself to go through all the stages without setting a time limit of its duration. An exception to this is when one is still suffering a few years later as if the loss just occurred. If this is the case with you, be honest with yourself and perhaps counseling is in order to assist in moving on with life.
Loved ones in spirit will try to alert you to the fact they are close. Watch your dreams for any visitation type activity. These dreams usually have a feeling of being very real; like making you believe they were really with you. You may “hear” them say familiar sayings or phrases in your mind. You may hear your named called when no one else is around. Items could go missing or long-lost items could pop up seemingly out of nowhere. Sometimes people will receive weird electronic messages that have no origin. Spirits love to use electronic devices as these devices can provide the extra energy needed to enable communications to take place.
Here is an example I just had happen:
I recently went back to Scottsdale, Arizona, to teach a 2-day Mediumship Intensive. Just before I left, I reconnected with an old love. The flames reignited and we were making tentative plans to get together over the Christmas holiday. We kept in touch and then I heard nothing. I waited for a week to give that person space. Out of the blue, exactly one half hour before a class by phone was to begin, I received a phone call from someone close to this person. He had died suddenly of a massive heart attack. I was in shock and devastated. How was it that I, a medium, had no clue? The answer lies in the simple fact that number 1: when someone dies suddenly like that, they are confused and need time to orient themselves to their new life. An exception to this is a crisis apparition where the newly deceased will appear briefly as if to say, “I’m okay”. Number 2: there is so much grief-stricken “psychic debris” in the way, messages and signals can’t get through. Number 3: just about any other reason you can think of. (There is still so much we don’t know about spirit communication at time of death.)
For my situation, as I thought back to that previous week, I realized something strange had happened involving my cell phone. Coming in one evening from visiting my daughter, I unintentionally had left my phone in the car. Realizing this, I went to retrieve it and coming in the house, I realized it was calling my friend by itself. Feeling that it was his turn to call, I quickly stopped the call. I have a real bugaboo about not wanting to hound people. The strange this is, my phone had never dialed this number by itself before, and it really can’t do it technically, I now believe it was his way of communicating to me. In fact, I know it!!
Seeing a Medium to Help with the Grief
In times of grief many will turn to a medium for help in reconnecting with a loved one. This is perfectly fine, however, I suggest that the session be at least 3-6 months out from the death. Too early, and the sitter, the one getting the reading, may not be in good enough emotional shape to go through a visitation session. In fact, it might cause the sitter to feel worse. Time does a lot to prepare one to be in the ready state for communication.
Always go to a reputable medium who does not charge exorbitant prices–perhaps up to $800! Big name mediums are fine, but there are many good mediums who charge very affordable fees. Some, in fact, might be even provide a better session than the “big name”mediums. Try to get true testimonials before deciding on a particular medium. In some cases, you might even talk to those who have undergone a session and felt the experience was accurate and helpful.
What if Your Loved One Does Not Come Through?
This can be extremely devastating, however, it can happen occasionally and does not mean the medium isn’t any good or your loved one no longer cares about you. There are times when a deceased loved one just can’t come through. There could be many reasons why this might occur but they are too numerous to go into here. The good news is, another deceased relative could come through instead and will have a message for you. Remember, you can always try again at a later time or even be your own medium and attempt to tune in with your loved one’s energy yourself. You can do it! Just be patient for results.
So, if you are missing a loved one this holiday season or from other holidays past, just know they are really with you. Our loved ones watch over us all during the year as well. Say hello or whatever you wish to tell them. They will hear you! Hope this helps for any who are in grief or feeling sad.
Love to all this holiday season,